It's going to be hard to admit this one, but I feel it's necessary in order to grow and learn. Today was one of the hardest days I've ever experienced while traveling. I felt my first bout of homesickness while traveling...EVER. A major contributor to this gloomy feeling could have been the massive chocolate bar and large glass of wine I enjoyed the night before OR it could mean something a bit deeper.
Ever since I put in my resignation over a month ago, there's always been a part of me that feels guilty or that I'm letting people down. And for those of you that know me well, one of the things I dislike most is people being disappointed in me. I often heard from others, "But we saw you doing big things at that job! You were so good at it!" Just because I'm good at something doesn't mean I'm passionate about it. That was the battle I had to face. I wasn't happy at my job and travel has always helped clear my mind as well as open it to new possibilities I didn't even know existed.
Yesterday, this guilt creeped its way back into my head and took over for the day. I found myself questioning, "Why am I here when I can be back home making more money? Why am I doing jobs now that I did years ago? Am I taking a step backward?" And what I learned from all this questioning in my head was that it was not my voice asking these questions, it was the voices of all the people that doubted my decision to travel abroad for 6 months.
I didn't take this journey to make money. I chose to travel to gain riches in the form of knowledge and experiences. That way, when I return next spring, I'll know exactly what I want in my future career and I won't settle for a mediocre job "just to pay the bills." Americans spend so much time at their jobs, which is why it's important for me to have a job that fulfills me. Yes, I know that everyday will not be rainbows and butterflies. However, as long as I'm doing something I'm passionate about, I know that passion will get me through the hard days. And at the end of the day, I'm passionate about travel and education of oneself and others. It's the constant in my life that continues to give me something on a daily basis: memories, knowledge, happiness.
After spending most of the day inside embracing this homesickness and guilt, I got out of the house and decided to test out some of my new creative outlet, photography. My friend Eileen took me to Kangaroo Point Cliffs and Story Bridge to take some night shots. Here's my first attempt at night shooting: